I tried Fohm, the sustainable device that wipes the ass
“I’ll tell you what the big lie is,” explains Matt Damon in it Scene from Deadpool 2. “Toilet paper.” And somehow he’s right. (Or rather, the beer-drinking redneck with a large bowel hanging from the tailgate of a pickup truck is right.) You probably wouldn’t wipe fresh shit off your face with a dry paper towel or some toilet paper and call it “clean.” “So, suggests Damon’s character, the trick of dealing with shit where it ~ usually ~ comes out of is a mixture of dry toilet paper and using Huggies Natural Care Wet Wipes. Which admittedly sounds like a great idea, and a lot of people are opting for the TP-Wipes-TP cleanup strategy. (Though I’m not sure how many of us blow dry our butts after going to the bath, as stated in the character’s final piece of advice.)
The problem? Many of the “flushable” wipes on the market actually have a devastating impact on the environment – and our sewer systems.
While Huggies notes that you Cloths cannot be rinsed off, the company is an outlier in its transparency. As Anne Gaviola registered for VICE Canada In 2019, a team of Ryerson University researchers released a damning report this month after testing 101 single-use products (23 of which were described as ‘flushable’ by the manufacturer) and found that none of the wipes were ‘able’ to disintegrate or be safe dissipated by the sewer system test, which can adversely affect domestic plumbing, municipal sewage infrastructure and, consequently, the environment. ‘”Indeed, Gaviola reported,“ The Municipal Enforcement Sewer Use Group estimates that $ 250 million is spent annually across the country Canada, to clear clogs mainly caused by rinsed cloths “which contain synthetic fibers including plastics that do terrible things to our waterways and wildlife”.
Of course, people who incorporate flushable wipes into their bathroom routine might be, uh, depressed out to hear this particularly shitty news. I too was worried to find that even though I followed the safe wash instructions on the packs of flushable wipes I used, I was actually messing up the sewers and the surrounding area. (Though I think a lot of things are technically “flushable”, like in “You can literally flush this, but it can give you or a plumber who won’t be thrilled to pull out six tamagotchis a massive fucking iceberg headache” sewer . “)
So what’s a guy to do? What is someone What to do when your B-Hole needs calming relief after a night of naively ordering your Pad Kra Prow “spicy” (you fool) but you don’t want to destroy your pipes? (Pun) Well, friends, I think I’ve found the answer. May I introduce you Fohm, a new device that offers itself as a sustainable alternative to flushable wipes.
What is Fohm?
Fohm is a non-contact foam cleaner that sticks to your bathroom wall next to your toilet roll. “It won’t clog your pipes or your planet,” explain creators Jerry and Alissa your website. The couple “fohm aus” [their] NYC apartment launched in 2019 and immediately started making waves in the toilet industry. ”
I’ve tried it and I have to say it’s pretty cute.
How does it work?
When my bathroom kit arrived it contained a wall bracket, adhesive tape, instructions, the dispenser, detergent cartridge and a micro-USB charging cable without a block. The website says a cleaning cartridge lasts two people for about three months, and a 10-month refill costs only $ 38. (Which seems like a pretty small investment compared to constantly buying packs of wet wipes, ruining the sewers, and upsetting Mother Earth.)
To install, charge it for an hour (which will last the brand for about five months with regular use), tape it to your wall with the included 3M Command Strips, and voila.
In my experience, you should hang the 3M strips on your wall and wait at least overnight before attaching the device – especially if you have a small bathroom that steams when you shower. First I glued the metal bracket and strips to the wall and waited an hour (according to the instructions) but found that the dispenser kept falling off when I put it on, so I left the strips and wall bracket on until the next one Tomorrow before you try again, which worked perfectly. After inhaling a dozen spicy arepas and drinking half a bottle of fiber gums trying to get this item out the door (kidding please don’t try @ home) I gave it a try.
Honestly, I was expecting my cheap, single-ply bodega toilet paper to crumble to Thanos-style ash instantly when it hits the foam cleaner, but to my surprise, it retained its structural integrity pretty well. And believe me when I say you literally can’t buy TP inferior to the buns that are currently under my sink in Brooklyn. (For some reason, I’m not a fan of the soft, luxurious toilet paper that people like; it just doesn’t seem to do the job as efficiently.) The no-touch dispenser worked pretty well, and the foam itself cools and works just as well – if not better – than your “flushable” wipe. It’s also not as wet as a wipe, which keeps your hands dry and makes wiping off with dry toilet paper a lot easier. Another benefit is that you can choose how big your TP bundle is instead of just using the small surface area of a wet wipe.
Basically when you’re not ready to pull the trigger a cute bidet, Fohm is a great and worthwhile option. It feels good, won’t break your toilet paper in your hand, and it’s significantly better for the environment. The dispenser itself is sleek and understated too, and having a foam dispenser in your bathroom is a cool (heh) thing to explain to the party guests. (Your friends may finally start answering your calls!) Plus, if your roommate, like me, often goes on 30-minute bathroom trips that sound like a weathered fisherman in terrifyingly large buckets of mate in a rough, it’s a good investment Ocean throws – for everyone.
Go ahead and wipe with confidence.
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